{"id":7391,"date":"2024-11-07T08:43:57","date_gmt":"2024-11-07T08:43:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bangbang.md\/?p=7391"},"modified":"2025-04-20T07:30:18","modified_gmt":"2025-04-20T07:30:18","slug":"grindr-iluzia-unei-mari-alegeri-sau-cum-am-reusit-sa-construiesc-o-relatie-gay-sanatoasa-in-moldova","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bangbang.md\/ru\/2024\/11\/07\/grindr-iluzia-unei-mari-alegeri-sau-cum-am-reusit-sa-construiesc-o-relatie-gay-sanatoasa-in-moldova\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201eGrindr \u2013 iluzia unei mari alegeri\u201d sau cum am reu\u0219it s\u0103 construiesc o rela\u021bie gay \u00een Moldova"},"content":{"rendered":"

Recunosc c\u0103 Grindr nu e locul potrivit pentru c\u0103ut\u0103rile celeilalte jum\u0103t\u0103\u021bi. Fiind timid de natura mea, unica solu\u021bie de a g\u0103si o persoan\u0103 drag\u0103 este totu\u0219i aceast\u0103 aplica\u021bie. Aici povesteam<\/mark><\/a> <\/mark>cum interac\u021bionam primele d\u0103\u021bi cu oamenii de pe Grindr pentru a reu\u0219i s\u0103 fac m\u0103car cu cineva cuno\u0219tin\u021b\u0103. Au trecut c\u00e2\u021biva ani \u0219i confirm c\u0103 s-a schimbat spre bine contingentul utilizatorilor, \u00eens\u0103 dificultatea-cheie \u00eenc\u0103 persist\u0103 \u2013 nu ai cu cine stabili o rela\u021bie cumsecade. \u00cen acest material voi relata cum am avut norocul s\u0103 am o rela\u021bie cu adev\u0103rat romantic\u0103 \u0219i serioas\u0103 \u0219i c\u00e2t de mult m\u0103 afecteaz\u0103 Grindr-ul \u00een procesul de g\u0103sire a noilor oameni decen\u021bi. <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u00cenainte de a porni \u00een c\u0103l\u0103toria amintirilor, vreau s\u0103 precizez c\u0103 citatul \u201eGrindr \u2013 iluzia unei mari alegeri\u201d l-am preluat de pe profilul unui utilizator de pe Grindr. Expresia descrie exact vibe-ul de acolo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O rela\u021bie pe care nu am vrut-o<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen luna mai am revenit \u00een ora\u0219ul meu natal (B\u0103l\u021bi) pentru a face un reload <\/em>profesional. Am avut o ardere profesional\u0103 la jobul precedent \u0219i am vrut s\u0103 scap de Chi\u0219in\u0103u. Am scris o postare pe un grup tematic pe VK c\u0103 a\u0219 vrea s\u0103 fac cuno\u0219tin\u021b\u0103 cu cineva. Mari a\u0219tept\u0103ri nu aveam, \u00een zadar. Acea postare mi-a schimbat via\u021ba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10 mai 2022<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cemi scrie un tip pe la vreo 8 diminea\u021ba \u2013 eu lucrasem deja. Discu\u021bia \u00eencepuse dup\u0103 un \u0219ablon cunoscut de mine \u0219i mari a\u0219tept\u0103ri nu aveam: \u201eCe faci, cum te nume\u0219ti, c\u00e2\u021bi ani ai\u201d. Am f\u0103cut schimb de informa\u021bii, de\u0219i nu-i spusesem prenumele meu real. Eram \u00eenc\u0103 \u00een \u201edulap\u201d pe atunci, eram foarte precaut. Mi-a spus c\u0103 are 18 (!!!) ani, eu fiind cu mult mai \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103 dec\u00e2t el, m-am g\u00e2ndit c\u0103 nu ar trebui s\u0103 discut mai departe. \u00cens\u0103, el era insistent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toat\u0103 ziua ne chat<\/em>-uiam, \u00eentre timp am descoperit un interes comun datorit\u0103 c\u0103ruia ne-am \u00eemprietenit momentan \u2013 ambii iubeam s\u0103 mergem pe biciclet\u0103. Astfel, aproape \u00een fiecare sear\u0103 ie\u0219eam cu bicicletele \u00een ora\u0219. Cu timpul, i-am devenit un fel de \u201efrate mai mare\u201d. \u00cemi povestea dificult\u0103\u021bile din via\u021ba lui, \u00eel ajutam cu sfaturi. Peste ceva timp, \u00eemi povestea c\u0103 \u00eei place de mine. Eu nu-i puteam r\u0103spunde la fel, pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 sim\u021beam straniu \u2013 era prea t\u00e2n\u0103r. Cu toate acestea, noi toat\u0103 ziua eram \u00een comunicare, seara plimb\u0103ri, petreceam mereu timpul \u00eempreun\u0103. Discutam despre rela\u021bii. \u00cei spuneam c\u0103 nu vreau rela\u021bii (cu el), mai ales \u00een Moldova. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apoi, dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva luni, am revenit la Chi\u0219in\u0103u. A venit \u0219i el. Credea c\u0103 aici vom fi forma un cuplu. Eu \u00eei repetam c\u0103 nu vreau. \u201eEu mereu o s\u0103 te iubesc \u0219i o s\u0103 te a\u0219tept\u201d. \u00cemi spunea deseori aceast\u0103 fraz\u0103. Eu nu o luam \u00een serios, dar vedeam cum el visa la o rela\u021bie cu mine. Eram pentru el unica persoan\u0103 care \u00eel sprijinea \u0219i ajuta \u00een toate problemele sale. \u201eM\u0103 simt cu tine \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103\u201d, \u201eFamilia mea nu-mi d\u0103 at\u00e2ta afec\u021biune c\u00e2t \u00eemi dai tu\u201d. O f\u0103ceam pentru c\u0103 \u021bineam la el, \u00eemi era prieten, dar nu iubit. \u00cen primul an locuia cu mine, \u00eens\u0103 nu eram \u00een cuplu. Continuam s\u0103 prieteni a\u0219a cum ne-am obi\u0219nuit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apoi a urmat o perioad\u0103 dificil\u0103 \u00een rela\u021bia noastr\u0103. Ne-am certat. Nu ne-am v\u0103zut \u0219i n-am discutat o lun\u0103. O lun\u0103 de co\u0219mar. M\u0103 sim\u021beam oribil. Am pierdut un om important din via\u021ba mea. Cu timpul, lipsa lui din via\u021ba mea devenea o normalitate, de\u0219i \u00eei duceam dorul. Orice col\u021b al Chi\u0219in\u0103ului \u00eemi aducea aminte de el. Scriu asta \u0219i pl\u00e2ng\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10 iunie 2023, ora 16.35. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0103 \u00eentorceam acas\u0103 de la un eveniment \u0219i primesc un SMS de la el. E un text prescurtat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

S\u0103 \u0219tii c\u0103 te iubesc foarte tare \u0219i nu vreau s\u0103 te pierd. Da, to\u021bi fac gre\u0219eli, regret. Vreau s\u0103 te iubesc, s\u0103 te iubesc p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, s\u0103 fiu al\u0103turi de tine \u0219i al\u021bii nu m\u0103 intereseaz\u0103. Vreau s\u0103 fiu al\u0103turi de tine at\u00e2ta timp c\u00e2t vei tr\u0103i.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

M-a emo\u021bionat foarte mult sinceritatea lui. L-am iertat \u0219i am \u00eenceput din nou prietenia noastr\u0103. Ne vedeam doar seara \u00een Parcul Valea Morilor. Ne plimbam pe role (nu avea biciclet\u0103). A\u0219a am re\u00eenviat prietenia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

M-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat din nou s\u0103 iubesc<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Toat\u0103 vara aceea am petrecut-o \u00eempreun\u0103. Atunci am \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 el nu mai este doar un prieten la care \u021bin foarte mult, dar e ceva mai mult. Am luat decizia s\u0103 fim cuplu. Din septembrie am \u00eenceput s\u0103 locuim \u00eempreun\u0103. \u00cempreun\u0103 am f\u0103cut repara\u021bie la buc\u0103t\u0103rie, am confruntat probleme care ap\u0103reau, am mers cu familia surorii mele \u00een vacan\u021b\u0103. El s-a integrat complet \u00een familia mea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am tr\u0103it al\u0103turi un an \u00een care am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat din nou s\u0103 iubesc \u0219i s\u0103 simt c\u0103ldura \u0219i sprijinul \u00een momentele dificile. E de o pl\u0103cere s\u0103 vii acas\u0103 \u0219i iubitul t\u0103u s\u0103 te a\u0219tepte cu \u00eentrebarea \u201eCum a fost ziua?\u201d. S\u0103 te cuprind\u0103 c\u00e2nd intri \u00een cas\u0103 \u0219i c\u00e2nd pleci diminea\u021ba la lucru. S\u0103 adormi\u021bi \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219a\u021bi, iar spre diminea\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 v\u0103 afla\u021bi \u00een col\u021buri diferite ale patului pentru c\u0103 era prea cald noaptea. S\u0103-\u021bi \u00eembrace hainele, iar tu s\u0103 te enervezi pe asta. S\u0103 face\u021bi lista de cump\u0103r\u0103turi \u0219i s\u0103 merge\u021bi \u00eempreun\u0103 la pia\u021b\u0103. S\u0103 crea\u021bi un buget comun, s\u0103 planifica\u021bi weekendul, pentru c\u0103 \u00een alte zile v\u0103 vede\u021bi doar seara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recunosc c\u0103 nu am fost pufos \u0219i bl\u00e2nd mereu. Probabil asta \u00eel afecta. Totu\u0219i, rela\u021bia s-a terminat definitiv \u00een august. Ambii am tr\u0103it clipe de neuitat. Acum tr\u0103im separat, fiecare cu via\u021ba lui, \u00eens\u0103 continu\u0103m s\u0103 fim acei prieteni apropia\u021bi care se ajut\u0103 \u00een momentele dificile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunt prizonierul propriilor a\u0219tept\u0103ri<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen ultimii trei ani am trecut printr-o metamorfoz\u0103 important\u0103 \u2013 de la nedorin\u021ba de a avea un iubit la dorin\u021ba de a avea un iubit. Aceasta se datoreaz\u0103 lui. Prin atitudinea lui grijulie, r\u0103bdare, consecven\u021b\u0103, afec\u021biune a reu\u0219it s\u0103-mi trezeasc\u0103 dragostea pentru cei el \u0219i s\u0103 pot oferi acelea\u0219i emo\u021bii \u00eenapoi. Asta a durat ceva timp. Cu siguran\u021b\u0103, mul\u021bi dintre cei de pe Grindr nu au tr\u0103it a\u0219a istorie, pornind doar de la o simpl\u0103 conversa\u021bie cu un necunoscut. Eu acum tr\u0103iesc acest complex de \u201erela\u021bie ideal\u0103 de prietenie necondi\u021bioant\u0103\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen cazul meu o rela\u021bie func\u021bioneaz\u0103 exact dup\u0103 formula descris\u0103 mai sus \u2013 prietenie, interese comune, timp petrecut \u00eempreun\u0103, apoi rela\u021bia. Cine este gata s\u0103 investeasc\u0103 at\u00e2ta timp, emo\u021bii, resurse pentru un necunoscut? Practic nimeni. Majoritatea dore\u0219te azi \u0219i acum. Pornind de la acest lucru, m\u0103 simt singur pe Grindr.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Salut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Salut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ce faci?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Lucrez\/ascult muzic\u0103, nimic (completa\u021bi cu versiunile voastre).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Tu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Stau\/m\u0103n\u00e2nc\/prin ora\u0219. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Discu\u021bia s-a terminat. C\u00e2\u021bi v\u0103 reg\u0103si\u021bi \u00een aceast\u0103 situa\u021bie?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Salut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Salut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ce rol e\u0219ti?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 ___<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ai poze intime?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Nu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Discu\u021bia s-a terminat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am observat c\u0103 oamenii nu doresc s\u0103 ias\u0103 din propriile limite de \u00eentreb\u0103ri \u0219i s\u0103 fie mai creativi. Conteaz\u0103 prima impresie. Conteaz\u0103 cum \u00eencepi dialogul, c\u0103ci dac\u0103 ai scris primul, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 ai un interes fa\u021b\u0103 de acea persoan\u0103. De ce s\u0103 nu \u00eencerci s\u0103-l descoperi. Poate e omul t\u0103u. Nu te limita la \u201eCe faci\u201d \u0219i \u201eCu ce scop e\u0219ti aici?\u201d. Grindr nu este doar despre asta. Face\u021bi sex, \u00eent\u00e2lni\u021bi-v\u0103 pentru o singur\u0103 dat\u0103, dar nu deveni\u021bi \u201eartificiali\u201d pentru c\u0103 a\u0219a impune comunitatea gay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cemi este dificil s\u0103 fac cuno\u0219tin\u021b\u0103 cu oamenii care nu depun efort s\u0103 discute mai mult dec\u00e2t s-a obi\u0219nuit. Nu vreau s\u0103 par arogant sau s\u0103 creez impresia c\u0103 sunt greu de \u201ecucerit\u201d. Pff, nu e despre asta. Am un standard de comunicare \u0219i n-o s\u0103 scad nivelul acestuia doar pentru ca s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2lnesc cu oricine.  Haide\u021bi s\u0103 facem Grindr mai prietenos \u0219i safe<\/em> pentru noi to\u021bi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recunosc c\u0103 Grindr nu e locul potrivit pentru c\u0103ut\u0103rile celeilalte jum\u0103t\u0103\u021bi. 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