{"id":7117,"date":"2024-10-11T06:42:01","date_gmt":"2024-10-11T06:42:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bangbang.md\/?p=7117"},"modified":"2024-10-11T10:17:15","modified_gmt":"2024-10-11T10:17:15","slug":"coming-out-ul-lui-alexandru-goja-pentru-mine-a-fost-ca-o-eliberare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bangbang.md\/ru\/2024\/10\/11\/coming-out-ul-lui-alexandru-goja-pentru-mine-a-fost-ca-o-eliberare\/","title":{"rendered":"Coming out-ul lui Alexandru Goja: \u201ePentru mine a fost ca o eliberare\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

L-am cunoscut pe Alex Goja \u00een luna octombrie 2018. Atunci am asistat pentru prima oar\u0103 <\/strong>la un eveniment public<\/mark><\/strong><\/a> \u00een care trei tineri gay relatau despre coming out<\/em>-ul f\u0103cut familiilor lor. Eroul de ast\u0103zi a fost printre cei care a luat microfonul \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i a spus: \u201eVorbesc pentru prima oar\u0103 \u00een public, de\u0219i am mai f\u0103cut coming out<\/em>-uri \u00een cercuri restr\u00e2nse\u201d. Ast\u0103zi se fac exact \u0219ase ani de la acel eveniment. Cum s-a schimbat via\u021ba lui Alex datorit\u0103 acelui coming out<\/em> afla\u021bi \u00een interviul de mai jos.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Alexandru are 36 de ani \u0219i este persoana-cheie la GDM care consiliaz\u0103 comunitatea \u00een materie de s\u0103n\u0103tate \u0219i prevenirea infec\u021biilor cu transmitere sexual\u0103. Cu alte cuvinte, dac\u0103 ave\u021bi nevoie de prezervative, lubrifiante sau s\u0103 beneficia\u021bi de un program medicamentos de profilaxie a HIV \u2013 PrEP, \u0219ti\u021bi unde s\u0103 v\u0103 adresa\u021bi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eDe trei ani am statut de parajurist specializat \u00een cadrul Consiliului Na\u021bional de Asisten\u021b\u0103 Juridic\u0103 Garantat\u0103 de Stat \u0219i lucrez doar pentru comunitatea LGBTQ+. De asemenea, consiliez beneficiarii cu privire la s\u0103n\u0103tatea sexual-reproductiv\u0103, prevenirea HIV \u0219i a altor infec\u021bii cu transmitere sexual\u0103, inclusiv \u00een penitenciare. Nu \u00een ultimul r\u00e2nd, ofer sprijin persoanelor care tr\u0103iesc cu HIV, acceptarea statutului HIV pozitiv \u0219i altele\u201d, mi-a relatat Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eAm \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 sunt gay pe la 12 ani.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Fiecare dintre noi \u00ee\u0219i descoper\u0103 atrac\u021bia emo\u021bional\u0103 \u0219i sexual\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de persoanele de acela\u0219i sex la v\u00e2rste diferite. \u00cen cazul lui Alexandru, r\u0103spunsul despre cine este el l-a primit \u00een perioada pubert\u0103\u021bii. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eAm \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 sunt gay pe la 12 ani. Cuno\u0219team doar despre faptul c\u0103 b\u0103ie\u021bilor trebuie s\u0103 le plac\u0103 fetele, iar \u00een cazul meu, cu siguran\u021b\u0103, nu eram speriat de ce eu nu sunt atras sexual de fete\u201d, spune Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peste vreo doi ani, adolescentul Alex privea un serial<\/mark><\/a> <\/strong>cu bunica \u0219i m\u0103tu\u0219a sa. \u00centr-un moment, unul dintre actorii principali face coming out<\/em> mamei sale spun\u00e2ndu-i c\u0103 este gay. Dup\u0103 aceast\u0103 scen\u0103 emo\u021bional\u0103 bunica lui Alex \u00eentreab\u0103 \u00een voce tare: \u201eCe e asta gay?\u201d. M\u0103tu\u0219a r\u0103spunz\u00e2ndu-i: \u201eSunt b\u0103rba\u021bii c\u0103rora le plac al\u021bi b\u0103rba\u021bi\u201d. \u00cen acea clip\u0103, Alexandru a \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 nu este doar el \u201ea\u0219a\u201d, ci sunt mul\u021bi oameni ca \u0219i el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eVoiam s\u0103 m\u0103 fac hetero.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

De\u0219i a primit confirmarea de la televizor c\u0103 a fi gay este ceva normal, Alex era \u00eenc\u0103 copil \u0219i nu-l afecta direct acest aspect. Cu timpul homofobia intern\u0103 a \u00eenceput s\u0103 se dezvolte \u00een adolescen\u021b\u0103 c\u00e2nd deja \u00eei pl\u0103ceau unii b\u0103ie\u021bi din liceu. \u00cens\u0103, disconfortul \u00eel m\u0103cina \u00een cercul lui de amici c\u00e2nd ie\u0219eau la plimbare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201ePrietenii mei aveau prietene cu care se \u021bineau de m\u00e2n\u0103, ie\u0219eau la \u00eent\u00e2lniri, \u00ee\u0219i f\u0103ceau surprize, se s\u0103rutau \u0219i, cumva, \u00eei invidiam. Voiam \u0219i eu s\u0103 fiu \u00een r\u00e2nd cu ei. Atunci am avut tentativa de a m\u0103 face hetero\u201d, \u00ee\u0219i aminte\u0219te Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lipsa de \u00eemplinire \u0219i dragoste l-a f\u0103cut pe b\u0103iat s\u0103 compenseze \u201eneajunsul\u201d principal \u2013 orientarea sexual\u0103 cu rezultate remarcabile la \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103tur\u0103. A ini\u021biat o rela\u021bie cu o fat\u0103, la fel, eminent\u0103 ca el, \u00eens\u0103 \u00een scurt timp a \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 nu vrea ca ea s\u0103-i devin\u0103 \u0431\u043e\u0440\u043e\u0434\u0430 <\/em>[n.r. fat\u0103 care \u00eendepline\u0219te rolul de prieten\u0103 pentru un gay] \u0219i a \u00eentrerupt rela\u021bia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eEram un elev s\u00e2rguincios, olimpic la biologie, eminent la celelalte discipline \u0219colare. Colegii m\u0103 respectau pentru asta. Cred c\u0103 una dintre cauzele succeselor la \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103tur\u0103 venea, inclusiv, din frustrarea c\u0103 nu sunt ca to\u021bi. A\u0219a \u00eencercam s\u0103-mi compensez acel \u00abneajuns\u00bb, adic\u0103  orientarea mea sexual\u0103. Tindeam s\u0103 creez impresia c\u0103 pot fi bun din alte considerente. Cu timpul am cunoscut o fat\u0103 extrem de de\u0219teapt\u0103 \u0219i frumoas\u0103. Mi-am zis, de ce s\u0103 nu \u00eencerc\u0103m s\u0103 facem o rela\u021bie. Am curtat-o, mergeam la plimb\u0103ri, \u00eei d\u0103ruiam trandafiri, ne s\u0103rutam, mergeam de m\u00e2n\u0103 ca to\u021bi \u00eendr\u0103gosti\u021bii, dar am realizat c\u0103 atrac\u021bie fizic\u0103 nu aveam \u0219i c\u0103 nimic nu se schimb\u0103, \u00eemi pl\u0103cea de ea ca de o prieten\u0103 bun\u0103. \u0218i cumva rela\u021bia a luat sf\u00e2r\u0219it\u201d, a relatat Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A doua \u00eencercare de a se convinge c\u0103 \u00eei plac fetele s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat la universitate. Iat\u0103 cum \u00ee\u0219i aminte\u0219te de acea experien\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201ePeste nou\u0103 luni de curtare, seri petrecute \u00eempreun\u0103, foarte multe momente frumoase de prietenie, i-am spus c\u0103 nu mai putem continua. Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 simt oribil, nu at\u00e2t pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 min\u021beam pe mine, c\u00e2t de faptul c\u0103 o min\u021beam pe ea. Apoi mi-am luat inima \u00een din\u021bi \u0219i am invitat-o la o plimbare, l\u00e2ng\u0103 izvor unde i-am recunoscut c\u0103 sunt gay \u0219i mi-am cerut iertare pentru fapta mea oribil\u0103\u201d, a povestit Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Primul coming out<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Alex mi-a spus c\u0103 \u00een acea sear\u0103 el a f\u0103cut primul coming out <\/em>\u00een via\u021ba lui. \u201eA fost extrem de dificil. Nu voiam ca ea s\u0103 cread\u0103 c\u0103 problema e \u00een ea. M\u0103 m\u00e2ndresc acum de mine c\u0103 am g\u0103sit curajul s\u0103 \u00eei recunosc personal\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cent\u00e2lnirea s-a \u00eencheiat cu o \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219are \u0219i sus\u021binere din partea acelei fete. \u201eAm r\u0103mas buni prieteni \u00een perioada studiilor, apoi ea \u0219i-a \u00eent\u00e2lnit sufletul pereche \u0219i au acum trei copii frumo\u0219i. Ambele tentative de a deveni \u00abhetero\u00bb s-au soldat cu probleme grave de s\u0103n\u0103tate mintal\u0103, cu intern\u0103ri \u00een spitale, psihoterapie \u0219i foarte mult stres\u201d, a conchis Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prima dragoste dup\u0103 coming out<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Acceptarea propriei identit\u0103\u021bi sexuale l-a ajutat pe Alex s\u0103 se concentreze mai mult pe descoperirea lumii interioare, informare \u0219i stabilirea noilor prietenii cu membrii din comunitatea LGBTQ+. Atunci GENDERDOC-M l-a ajutat s\u0103 se simt\u0103 \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 fac\u0103 voluntariat \u00een sprijinul altor tineri care la fel se aflau \u00een c\u0103utarea multor r\u0103spunsuri despre sine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eAnual, de Zilele Universit\u0103\u021bii se fac conferin\u021be \u0219tiin\u021bifice la toate catedrele. Dorind s\u0103 m\u0103 aprofundez mai mult \u00een partea \u0219tiin\u021bific\u0103 legat\u0103 de orientarea sexual\u0103, am ales tema \u00abPsihologia minorit\u0103\u021bilor sexuale\u00bb. A\u0219a mi-am creat un motiv s\u0103 ajung la GENDERDOC-M. \u0218i acum \u021bin minte cum am ajuns la poart\u0103 unde m-au \u00eent\u00e2mpinat vreo \u0219ase angaja\u021bi. Ideea era c\u0103 eu nici \u00een comunitate nu eram gata s\u0103 m\u0103 deschid, o f\u0103ceam pe studentul heterosexual. A\u0219a am \u00eenceput s\u0103 fac voluntariat la GENDERDOC-M. Acolo am \u00eent\u00e2lnit \u0219i prima mea dragoste. El era un voluntar acolo. A fost dragoste la prima privire, din alea frumoase ca \u00een filme\u201d, \u0219i-a amintit Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eTata \u0219tia c\u0103 sunt gay.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Cea mai emo\u021bional\u0103 etap\u0103 a coming out<\/em>-ului se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd sim\u021bi c\u0103 e timpul s\u0103 te deschizi familiei. Au durat trei ani ca Alex s\u0103 decid\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 acest pas important. Prima care a aflat a fost mama sa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eAm preg\u0103tit-o treptat ca s\u0103 m\u0103 asigur c\u0103 este preg\u0103tit\u0103. Ea era unica c\u0103reia \u00eei puteam dest\u0103inui acest secret. A reac\u021bionat neutru, dar \u0219tiu cu siguran\u021b\u0103 c\u0103 a trecut etape complicate. Apoi i-a spus tat\u0103lui, bunic\u0103i. Nu voiam s\u0103 afle tata, \u00eens\u0103 el mi-a m\u0103rturisit c\u0103 cuno\u0219tea despre mine. \u00centr-o zi auzise o discu\u021bie telefonic\u0103 cu iubitul meu. La ziua de azi sunt \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie bun\u0103 cu familia mea. Sunt acceptat de to\u021bi membrii, nu m\u0103 simt marginalizat\u201d, a concluzionat Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"jj\"
surs\u0103 foto: arhiv\u0103 personal\u0103<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201ePrin multe coming out<\/em>-uri ajungi s\u0103 te accep\u021bi pe deplin.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Deja cum \u0219ti\u021bi, p\u00e2n\u0103 a face coming out<\/em> public [n.r. \u00een anul 2018], Alex deja f\u0103cuse acest lucru mai multor persoane apropiate: p\u0103rin\u021bi, prieteni, colegi, rude, cons\u0103teni. Coming out<\/em>-urile l-au ajutat pe Alex s\u0103 devin\u0103 mai \u00eencrez\u0103tor \u0219i s\u0103 nu reac\u021bioneze emo\u021bional la provoc\u0103rile \u0219i discursurile de ur\u0103 \u00een adresa sa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201ePentru mine a fost ca o eliberare. Primul coming out<\/em> este cel mai greu, iar dup\u0103 asta sim\u021bi c\u0103 ai sc\u0103pat de o povar\u0103. Acel coming out<\/em>-ul public l-am f\u0103cut mai mult pentru acele persoane LGBTQ+ care trec prin negare, \u00eenvinov\u0103\u021bire, frustrare. Sunt etape importante \u00een primul r\u00e2nd pentru tine, deoarece prin multe coming out<\/em>-uri ajungi s\u0103 te accep\u021bi pe deplin, ceea ce ar fi trebuit s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple \u00eenc\u0103 din perioada con\u0219tientiz\u0103rii orient\u0103rii sexuale, ca la toat\u0103 lumea normal\u0103\u201d, men\u021bioneaz\u0103 Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At\u00e2t eu, c\u00e2t \u0219i Alex am \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 una dintre beneficiile coming out-<\/em>ului <\/em>se manifest\u0103 prin faptul c\u0103 e\u0219ti mai pu\u021bin influen\u021bat de frici \u0219i de posibile outing-uri din partea neprietenilor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eC\u00e2nd tu te accep\u021bi a\u0219a cum e\u0219ti, po\u021bi face fa\u021b\u0103 la orice atac homofob, la orice provocare, \u0219antaj, intimidare, \u00eenjosire, deoarece ele pentru tine nu exist\u0103. \u00ce\u021bi este indiferent de p\u0103rerea homofobilor, deoarece tu \u00een\u021belegi c\u0103 tot ceea ce ei spun nu este despre tine, este doar \u00een capul lor \u0219i este doar problema lor\u201d, a explicat Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eCu vecinii facem frig\u0103rui \u0219i discut\u0103m deschis despre via\u021ba personal\u0103.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Convie\u021buirea cu vecinii de bloc este un capitol aparte al vie\u021bii unui gay. Unii au noroc, al\u021bii.. deja cum este. \u00cen cazul lui Alex, vecinii lui sunt prieteno\u0219i \u0219i toleran\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eLocuiesc cu chirie \u00eentr-un bloc micu\u021b, cu o curte mare, \u00een care fiecare vecin se cunoa\u0219te unul pe altul. Rela\u021bia cu ei este ca \u00een serialul \u00abDesperate Housewives\u00bb [Like pentru acest serial<\/strong>]. Facem schimb de m\u00e2ncare, ne servim cu ceva gusto\u0219el, facem frig\u0103rui \u00een comun, picnicuri \u00een fa\u021ba blocului unde am construit dou\u0103 foi\u0219oare. Cred c\u0103 este una dintre cele mai de invidiat comunit\u0103\u021bi de vecini din Chi\u0219in\u0103u. Desigur, to\u021bi vecinii cunosc despre mine. Discut\u0103m deschis despre via\u021ba personal\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 frustr\u0103ri\u201d, a povestit Alex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Vreau s\u0103 \u00eenchei acest interviu cu ultimele propozi\u021bii pe care le-a spus Alex atunci, \u00een 2018. \u201eP\u0103rin\u021bii mei m\u0103 iubesc foarte mult, am un frate care m\u0103 iube\u0219te, am unchi, m\u0103tu\u0219i, rude care m\u0103 accept\u0103. La momentul de fa\u021b\u0103 sunt o persoan\u0103 fericit\u0103. Nu mai trebuiesc s\u0103-mi mint p\u0103rin\u021bii sau s\u0103 construiesc rela\u021bii fictive. Dup\u0103 ce am f\u0103cut coming out<\/em>-ul, m-am sim\u021bit mai liber, nu mai tr\u0103iesc \u00een minciun\u0103\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eNu mai tr\u0103iesc \u00een minciun\u0103\u201d dup\u0103 mine ar trebui s\u0103 fie motto-ul fiec\u0103ruia care se g\u00e2nde\u0219te s\u0103 fac\u0103 vreodat\u0103 coming out<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0103 amintesc c\u0103, \u00een perioada 10-13 octombrie, \u00een Moldova se desf\u0103\u0219oar\u0103 Coming Out Day Fest<\/em> 2024. \u00cen cadrul acestui eveniment echipa Bang Bang v\u0103 poveste\u0219te istoriile de coming out<\/em> ale membrilor comunit\u0103\u021bii noastre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aici pute\u021bi citi<\/strong><\/mark><\/a> istoria de coming out a autorului acestui interviu.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

L-am cunoscut pe Alex Goja \u00een luna octombrie 2018. Atunci am asistat pentru prima oar\u0103 la un eveniment public \u00een…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":7120,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[178],"tags":[334,347],"class_list":["post-7117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-queer-proud","tag-coming-out","tag-coming-out-day"],"yoast_head":"\nComing out-ul lui Alexandru Goja: \u201ePentru mine a fost ca o eliberare\u201d - BANG-BANG<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bangbang.md\/ru\/2024\/10\/11\/coming-out-ul-lui-alexandru-goja-pentru-mine-a-fost-ca-o-eliberare\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ru_RU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Coming out-ul lui Alexandru Goja: \u201ePentru mine a fost ca o eliberare\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"L-am cunoscut pe Alex Goja \u00een luna octombrie 2018. 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