{"id":6210,"date":"2024-01-29T11:49:37","date_gmt":"2024-01-29T11:49:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bangbang.md\/?p=6210"},"modified":"2024-01-29T11:49:38","modified_gmt":"2024-01-29T11:49:38","slug":"2-km-de-mandrie-cum-e-sa-mergi-pe-tocuri-prin-chisinau-atunci-cand-societatea-te-vede-barbat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bangbang.md\/ru\/2024\/01\/29\/2-km-de-mandrie-cum-e-sa-mergi-pe-tocuri-prin-chisinau-atunci-cand-societatea-te-vede-barbat\/","title":{"rendered":"2 km de m\u00e2ndrie! Cum e s\u0103 mergi pe tocuri prin Chi\u0219in\u0103u atunci c\u00e2nd societatea te vede b\u0103rbat"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sunt o persoan\u0103 non-binar\u0103, male passing<\/em> \u0219i AMAB (numit b\u0103rbat la na\u0219tere, n.r.) din Republica Moldova. Atunci c\u00e2nd ies pe strad\u0103 sunt perceput ca b\u0103iat<\/em> de ochii lumii. Iar c\u00e2nd acest b\u0103iat<\/em> \u00ee\u0219i exprim\u0103 identitatea de gen purt\u00e2nd haine considerate feminine de c\u0103tre societate, este de parc\u0103 \u0219i-ar desena pe spate, cu ro\u0219u, o \u021bint\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cenc\u0103 din copil\u0103rie mi-am dorit s\u0103 merg pe tocuri. P\u0103rea a fi un vis irealizabil, \u00eentruc\u00e2t nu credeam c\u0103 ar fi posibil ca un b\u0103rbat<\/em> s\u0103 \u00eembrace haine feminine<\/em>. Nu consideram acest vis realizabil nici dintr-un punct de vedere practic, fiindc\u0103 tr\u0103iam cu impresia c\u0103 nu exist\u0103 femei cu m\u0103rimea 43 la \u00eenc\u0103l\u021b\u0103minte, respectiv nici pantofi pe care s\u0103 \u00eei pot purta.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acest lucru s-a schimbat la sf\u00e2r\u0219itul anului trecut, atunci c\u00e2nd mi-am comandat prima pereche de \u00eenc\u0103l\u021b\u0103ri pe tocuri. Imediat cum au ajuns, am ie\u0219it pentru prima dat\u0103 prin Chi\u0219in\u0103u purt\u00e2nd tocuri. Nu a fost prima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd eram \u00eembr\u0103cat feminin<\/em> \u00een public. \u00cemi vopsesc unghiile, deseori \u00eemi fac machiajul \u00eenainte de a ie\u0219i din cas\u0103, iar la petreceri \u00eemi permit s\u0103 \u00eembrac haine considerate feminine<\/em>. \u00cens\u0103 odat\u0103 ce am ie\u0219it pe tocuri \u00een Chi\u0219in\u0103u, am redescoperit queerfobia omniprezent\u0103 \u00een ora\u0219ul nostru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

La plimbare pe Bulevardul Moscovei<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Eram incredibil de entuziasmat \u0219i m\u0103 sim\u021beam la \u00een\u0103l\u021bime cu acea pereche de pantofi elegan\u021bi, negri cu tocuri de opt centimetri. Dup\u0103 ce i-am purtat prin cas\u0103 vreo or\u0103, am spus c\u0103 sunt gata s\u0103-i scot la o plimbare. Am sunat un prieten care tr\u0103ia la vreo doi kilometri distan\u021b\u0103 de mine \u0219i i-am spus c\u0103 vin s\u0103 \u201e\u00eei ar\u0103t ceva cool\u201d. C\u0103\u0219tile pe urechi, blana pe mine, \u0219i am ie\u0219it \u00een ora\u0219.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ajuns pe bulevardul Moscovei, odat\u0103 cu fluxul mare de oameni, s-au intensificat \u0219i privirile de \u0219oc \u0219i dezgust. Priviri care deveneau \u0219i mai insuportabile din cauza durerii de picioare pe care \u00eencepeam s\u0103 o simt. Purtam doar o pereche de \u0219osete care nu era de ajuns pentru a \u00eemi proteja degetele de b\u0103t\u0103turi. O reac\u021bie mai puternic\u0103 a venit din partea a dou\u0103 fete. Una dintre ele, c\u00e2nd m-a v\u0103zut pe tocuri, cu gura la p\u0103m\u00e2nt de \u0219ocat\u0103 ce era, a f\u0103cut un semn prietenei sale c\u0103tre pantofii mei.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

De obicei observ dou\u0103 tipuri de reac\u021bii atunci c\u00e2nd merg pe strad\u0103 \u00eembr\u0103cat \u00een haine feminine<\/em>. Primul ar fi reac\u021biile de dezgust \u0219i \u0219oc, care de obicei vin din partea femeilor \u0219i a b\u0103rba\u021bilor care sunt singuri sau cu familia lor. Al doilea const\u0103 \u00een reac\u021bii agresive, insultele \u0219i amenin\u021b\u0103rile. Al doilea tip de reac\u021bii tot timpul vine din partea grupurilor de b\u0103rba\u021bi, indiferent de v\u00e2rsta lor. Astfel am dezvoltat un instinct de supravie\u021buire queer \u0219i evit grupurile de b\u0103rba\u021bi atunci c\u00e2nd sunt \u00eembr\u0103cat femme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recunosc, \u00een timp ce mergeam pe strad\u0103, \u00eemi era fric\u0103. Totu\u0219i \u00een drum spre prietenul meu nu am \u00eent\u00e2lnit grupuri de b\u0103rba\u021bi. Respectiv, majoritatea reac\u021biilor au fost de \u0219oc sau dezgust \u0219i am fost scutit de insulte sau amenin\u021b\u0103ri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pe la nou\u0103 seara, atunci c\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u00eentorceam spre cas\u0103, pe str\u0103zile \u00eentunecate \u0219i goale ale Chi\u0219in\u0103ului doi b\u0103rba\u021bi au \u00eenceput s\u0103 strigate la mine. Nu am auzit exact ce au zis pentru c\u0103 purtam c\u0103\u0219tile \u0219i pentru c\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 merg mai repede \u00een speran\u021ba c\u0103 nu voi fi atacat de ei. Pentru a evita un alt grup de \u0219ase b\u0103rba\u021bi, am fost nevoit s\u0103 traversez strada <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ajuns acas\u0103, am r\u0103suflat cu u\u0219urare. Eram \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103 \u00eentre patru pere\u021bi. Mi-am spus \u201eO alt\u0103 zi de supravie\u021buire ca persoan\u0103 queer \u00een Chi\u0219in\u0103u!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

La petrecere pe tocuri<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Urm\u0103toarea sear\u0103, \u00eempreun\u0103 cu doi prieteni, am mers la o petrecere. \u00cen acea sear\u0103 m-am \u00eembr\u0103cat agresiv de queer<\/em>, purtam un top \u00een stil fishnet, pantofi mei noi, unghiile vopsite \u00een culoarea verde, cercei \u0219i machiaj str\u0103lucitor. De data asta m-am preg\u0103tit mai bine. Pentru a evita cel pu\u021bin durerea fizic\u0103, aveam dou\u0103 perechi de \u0219osete \u0219i degetele bine bandajate cu un material textil. Eram fabulos!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Odat\u0103 ajuns la petrecere, o tip\u0103 m-a \u00eentrebat \u201ece sunt?\u201d<\/em> Dup\u0103 a urmat o serie de \u00eentreb\u0103ri \u0219i complimente bizare\u00a0 din partea ei. \u201eVai, cum tu, b\u0103rbat, mergi pe tocuri? Eu, femeie, \u0219i nu pot!\u201d<\/em> Atunci c\u00e2nd i-am explicat c\u0103 sunt o persoan\u0103 non-binar\u0103, era ca \u0219i cum nici nu m-a auzit. A continuat cu acelea\u0219i comentarii bizare bazate pe binaritatea de gen, spun\u00e2nd c\u0103 eu sunt bravo \u201ec\u0103 pot\u201d,<\/em> \u00een contrast cu ea, \u201eo femeie care nu poate s\u0103 mearg\u0103 pe tocuri.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 e\u0219ti o persoan\u0103 perceput\u0103 ca b\u0103rbat \u00eembr\u0103cat\u0103 feminin, descoperi fenomenul misoginiei internalizate dintr-o perspectiv\u0103 unic\u0103. Am r\u0103mas surprins de c\u00e2t de des \u00eent\u00e2lnesc femei care, \u00eentr-o \u00eencercare de a \u00eemi face un compliment, \u00ee\u0219i atac\u0103 propria feminitate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Complimente care de fapt sunt o compara\u021bie \u00eentre ce poate face un b\u0103rbat \u0219i nu pot face ele ca femei. Ca \u0219i cum a\u0219 fi mai de succes \u00een a fi femeie<\/em> doar pentru c\u0103 ar\u0103t bine \u00een anumite haine. Femeile sunt frumoase indiferent de hainele \u0219i accesoriile pe care le poart\u0103, iar feminitatea nu trebuie \u00een mod obligatoriu s\u0103 reflecte a\u0219tept\u0103rile heteronormative a ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 fii femeie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen pofida comentariilor transfobe, am \u00eent\u00e2lnit mul\u021bi oameni frumo\u0219i care mi-au complimentat \u00eenf\u0103\u021bi\u0219area \u00eentr-un mod onest \u0219i respectuos. Desigur, privirile insistente din partea unor b\u0103rba\u021bi nu au lipsit nici \u00een bar. Sunt obi\u0219nuit cu acestea at\u00e2t timp c\u00e2t ace\u0219tia nu devin agresivi \u0219i nu m\u0103 ating f\u0103r\u0103 acordul meu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dup\u0103 ceva timp, prietenii mei au ie\u0219it la o \u021bigar\u0103. Am decis c\u0103 vreau s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n s\u0103 dansez. Fiind singur, la un moment dat, am v\u0103zut trei b\u0103ie\u021bi \u00een spatele meu care r\u00e2deau \u0219i discutau ceva \u00eentre ei. Nu le-am atras ini\u021bial aten\u021bia, cel pu\u021bin p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am fost lovit la fund de unul dintre ei. Atunci c\u00e2nd m-am \u00eentors, i-am v\u0103zut cum r\u00e2deau. Mi-au spus ceva \u00een rus\u0103 \u0219i au plecat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am fost deseori h\u0103r\u021buit \u00eentr-un fel sau altul la petreceri. Tot timpul eram pus \u00een situa\u021bia \u00een care trebuia s\u0103 \u00eemi \u00eenghit furia \u0219i revolta pentru c\u0103 nu puteam face nimic \u00een privin\u021ba agresorilor. \u00cen cultura noastr\u0103 victima este considerat\u0103 mereu vinovat\u0103. Din cauza asta nu m-am sim\u021bit \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 raportez incidentul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218tiam c\u0103 \u00een ochii altora, felul \u00een care sunt \u00eembr\u0103cat poate justifica h\u0103r\u021buirea \u00eendreptat\u0103 \u00een direc\u021bia mea. Chiar \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd am fost agresat \u00eentr-un spa\u021biu care se declar\u0103 sigur pentru persoanele queer, raport\u00e2nd incidentul de h\u0103r\u021buire echipei organizatorice, mi s-a spus doar \u201escuze, nu putem face nimic\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen pofida furiei sim\u021bite de mine, am decis s\u0103 continui s\u0103 dansez p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd mi-am sim\u021bit picioarele mult prea obosite. Astfel, am chemat un taxi \u0219i am ajuns acas\u0103 relativ nev\u0103t\u0103mat<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lupt\u0103 prin simplul act de a fi<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Recent, un t\u00e2n\u0103r s-a apropiat de mine \u00een troleibuz \u0219i dup\u0103 ce mi-a complimentat felul \u00een care ar\u0103tam, m-a rugat s\u0103-i dau Instagram-ul meu. Peste c\u00e2teva ore, mi-a scris c\u0103 a fost prima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd a \u201ev\u0103zut o persoan\u0103 at\u00e2t de queer \u00een public, \u00een Chi\u0219in\u0103u.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Simplul act de a fi autentici devine o form\u0103 de lupt\u0103 \u0219i protest queer \u00een societ\u0103\u021bile heteronormative. Merg\u00e2nd pe acele tocuri, cu unghiile vopsite sau cu alte haine considerate feminine, \u00eemi place s\u0103 cred c\u0103 pot contribui la normalizarea a tot ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 queer \u00een societatea noastr\u0103. \u00cemi place s\u0103 cred c\u0103 poate un t\u00e2n\u0103rx queer care m\u0103 vede, va g\u0103si curajul necesar pentru a-\u0219i explora propria identitate cu m\u00e2ndrie \u0219i autenticitate.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sunt o persoan\u0103 non-binar\u0103, male passing \u0219i AMAB (numit b\u0103rbat la na\u0219tere, n.r.) din Republica Moldova. Atunci c\u00e2nd ies pe…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":6216,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[178],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-queer-proud"],"yoast_head":"\n2 km de m\u00e2ndrie! Cum e s\u0103 mergi pe tocuri prin Chi\u0219in\u0103u atunci c\u00e2nd societatea te vede b\u0103rbat - BANG-BANG<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sunt o persoan\u0103 non-binar\u0103, male passing \u0219i AMAB din Republica Moldova. Atunci c\u00e2nd ies pe strad\u0103 sunt perceput ca b\u0103iat de ochii lumii. 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